Wang XiaoBo - Why Do I Write?

Why Do I Write -- Preface to "The Ages in Three Parts"
by Wang Xiaobo 我为什么要写作 ──《时代三部曲》总序
王小波

A person asks a mountain climber why he climbs mountains. Everyone knows mountain climbing is dangerous. There's no practical benefit. The mountain climber answers, " Because the mountain is there." I like this answer because it contains a kind of humor: he clearly wants to climb mountains, but he says that the mountain is there to make the other guy's heart itch. Beside this, I also like what the mountain climber does. He climbs dangerous cliffs for no apparent reason. It makes for muscle aches, even has the risk of losing one's head. Therefore ordinary people do all they can to avoid climbing mountains. From the perspective of thermodynamics, it's a phenomenon that goes against entropy. Whatever seeks out harm and avoids rewards must act against entropy. 有人问一位登山家为什么要去登山——谁都知道登山这件事既危险，又没什么实际的好处，他回答道：“因为那座山峰在那里。”我喜欢这个答案，因为里面包含着幽默感——明明是自己想要登山，偏说是山在那里使他心里痒痒。除此之外，我还喜欢这位登山家干的事，没来由地往悬崖上爬。它会导致肌肉疼痛，还要冒摔出脑子的危险，所以一般人尽量避免爬山。用热力学的角度来看，这是个反熵的现象，所发趋害避利肯定反熵。

Now let us compare mountain climbing to writing, which is bound to invite objections from some. This is because in the recent decade, China had a novel boom, a poetry boom, and a culture boom. No matter which boom, each has led many people to throw themselves into writing. Others often see me as one of these people and warn me, "What era are you living in? Why are you writing novels (implying there's a business boom going on. I should get down and go into business)? " But my situation is not like this. When those three booms occured, I was studying in the United States and wasn't at all influenced. The instruction in our house was not to allow the kids to study the humanities, but to encourage all to study engineering and the sciences. Because of this, determining to write has been an anti-entropic process for me. Even now I don't understand why I do it, except for the fact that it is against entropy.
现在把登山和写作相提并论，势必要招致反对。这是因为最近十年来中国有过小说热、诗歌热、文化热，无论哪一种热都会导致大量的人投身写作，别人常把我看成此类人士中的一个，并且告诫我说，现在都是什么年月了，你还写小说（言下之意是眼下是经商热，我该下海去经商了）？但是我的情形不一样。前三种热发生时，我正在美国念书，丝毫没有受到感染。我们家的家训是不准孩子学文科，一律去学理工。因为这些缘故，立志写作在我身上是个不折不扣的反熵过程。我到现在也弄不明白自己为什么要干这件事，除了它是个反熵过程这一点。

I need to explain further how my resolution write is against entropy. Writing is a general word. We must also look at what one is writing. Writing best-sellers, romance novels, and other popular items should be considered as following entropy [and quite natural]. My writings are not at all popular. Not only do they not make me any money, sometimes they even cost me money. This is what the "serious" of "serious writer" means. From what I know, most serious writers in the world can't make ends meet even when they improvise. When explained like this, everyone realizes that I am really in a process that is against entropy. 有关我立志写作是个反熵过程，还有进一步解释的必要。写作是个笼统的字眼，还要看写什么东西。写畅销小说、爱情小诗等等热门东西，应该列入熵增过程之列。我写的东西一点不热门，不但挣不了钱，有时还要倒贴一些。严肃作家的“严肃”二字，就该做如此理解。据我所知，这世界上有名的严肃作家，大多是凑合也算不上。这样说明了以后，大家都能明白我确实在一个反熵过程中。

My dad didn't allow us to study humanities in school. The reason was obvious. When we were growing up, Laose (the famous novelist) jumped in Lake Taiping, Hu Feng (the literary critic) was imprisoned, and Wang Shiwei (the writer of political tracts and translator of Marxist writings) was sentenced to death and shot. Before them, there was Jin Shengtan (the famous Qing dynasty scholar and critic) whose head was chopped off and other examples. Of course, my old man was also the kind to urge liquor in private while telling you publicly to drink water. He himself was a professor in the humanities, but he honestly acknowledged that his chosen profession was not right and shouldn't be taken as an example. Thus, among us children, five gave in and studied engineering and science, my older brother being the only exception. Considering my parents' quick temper and loud roars, you can say that such a choice was a pro-entropic process. But my older brother's exception happened like this: when taking the university entrance exam in 1978, he was the strongest young miner at Beijing's Mu Cheng Zhang coal mine. His roar was even louder than my dad's. My dad felt rather embarrassed hitting him or shouting at him, and so he allowed him to study philosophy: to become a graduate student studying with Shen Youding, an authority in the field of logic. Considering that symbolic logic is an extremely specialized field (a layman would not understand an article on logic), it was not that different from engineering or science. From what I have said, you can understand my dad's desire. He wished that each of us can study a specialty that laymen couldn't understand but which could still make a contribution to the wolrd, so that we can each live our lives in peace. My dad had a rough life and loved us above all things. He saw this kind of arrangement as the most natural. 我父亲不让我们学文科，理由显而易见。在我们成长的时代里，老舍跳了太平湖，胡风关了临狱，王实味被枪毙了。以前还有金圣叹砍脑壳等等实例。当然，他老人家也是屋内饮酒，门外劝水的人，自己也是个文科的教授，但是他坦白地承认自己择术不正，不足为训。我们兄弟姐妹五个就范此全学了理工科，只我哥哥例外。考虑到我父母脾气暴躁、吼声如雷，你得说这种选择是个熵增过程。而我哥哥那个例外是这么发生的：七八年考大学时，我哥哥是北京木城漳煤矿最强壮的青年矿工，吼起来比我爸爸音量还要大。无论是动手揍他，还是朝他吼叫，我爸爸自己都挺不好意思，所以就任凭他去学了哲学：在罗辑学界的泰斗沈有鼎先生的门下当了研究生。考虑到符号逻辑是个极专门的学科（这是从外行人看不懂得逻辑文章来说），它和理工科差不太多的。从以上的叙述，你可以弄明白我父亲的意思。他希望我们每个人都学一种外行人弄不懂而又是有功世道的专业，平平安安地度过一生。我父亲一生坎坷，他又最爱我们，这样的安排在他看来最自然不过。

My own situation was this. From childhood to adulthood, I've never been that physically strong. I couldn't shout loud enough. Thus I was always content with my lot. Despite this, I always felt the dangerous wish to write novels. When I was sent to work in the coutryside [during the Cultural Revolution], I ran across an atrocious guy (he was even our boss, one of the few bad leaders in our country). So I made up a story, describing how he was transformed into a donkey little by little, starting with his tailbone, and I wrote it down to vent some anger. Later I read some books and found that Kafka also wrote a similar story, which made me a little embarrassed. There was another story in which the female protagonist had the wings of a bat, had green hair, and lived under water. I burned all these works from twenty years ago. I mention them here to explain the source of my dangerous inclination. Later I always suppressed this inclination, finishing my undergraduate studies and going to the U.S. for graduate work. My older brother also obtained his Master's degree and went to the U.S. for graduate studies. I started writing novels again there. This dangerous inclination could no longer be suppressed. 我自己的情形是这样的：从小到大，身体不算强壮，吼起来音量也不够大，所以一直本分为人。尽管如此，我身上总有一股要写小说的危险情绪。插队的时候，我遇上一个很坏的家伙（他还是我们的领导，属于在我国这个社会里少数坏干部之列），我就编了一个故事，描写他从尾骨开始一寸寸变成了一条驴，并且把它写出来，以泄心头之愤。后来读了一些书，我现卡夫卡也写了个类似的故事，搞得我很不好意思。还有一个故事，女主人公长了蝙蝠的翅膀，并且头发是绿色的，生活在水下。这些二十岁前的作品我都烧掉了。在此一提是要说明这种危险倾向的由来。后来我一直抑制着这种倾向，念完了本科，到美国去留学。我哥哥也念完了硕士，也到美国去留学。我在那边又开始写小说，这种危险的倾向再也不能抑制了。

My dad passed away while I was in the U.S. Reflecting on his request for us to study engineering and science, I felt it didn't fit with the logic of my experiences in the U.S. It reminded me of what former Marshal Tukhackevsky of the Soviet Union said to the great composer Shostakovich: "When I was little, I had a lot of musical talent. Unfortunately, my dad didn't have the money to buy me a violin! If I had that violin, I could be sitting in your orchestra now." This statement doesn't make sense at first and needs some explanation. It was made in the Soviet Union of the 1930s. Not long after making the statement, Marshal Tukhachevsky was executed. In those years, one specialized in executing marshals and general, very rarely executing violinists. But during the Cultural Revolution, there more writers and artists who committed suicide by jumping from buildings or hanging themselves. When my dad was still alive, he wholeheartedly wanted to give each of us a violin. This violin was choosing science, engineering, agriculture, or medicine. It didn't matter which one, only not the humanities. This wasn't the same as my experiences the U.S., but the conclusion was the same -- I should do something else and not write novels. 在美国时，我父亲去世了。回想他让我们读理科的事，觉得和美国发生的事不是一个逻辑。这让我想起了前苏联元帅图哈切夫斯基对大音乐家萧斯塔科奇说的话来：“我小的时候，很有音乐天才。只可惜我父亲没钱给我买把小提琴！假如有了那把小提琴，我现在就坐在你的乐池里。”这段话乍看不明其意，需要我提示一句：这次对话发生在苏联的三年代，说宛了没多久，图元帅就一命呜呼。那年头专毙元帅将军，不大毙小提琴手。文化革命里跳楼下吊的却是文人居多。我父亲在世时，一心一意地要给我们每人都弄把小提琴。这把小提琴就是理工农医任一门，只有文科不在其内，这和美国发生的事不一样，但是结论还是同一个——我该去干点别的，不该写小说。

One sentence can describe everything in America: "American's business is business." What this statement means is that business will always be hot in this country. Moreover, it will always be a one-thousand-degree white heat. Thus, you would be mistaken if you read the foregoing and thought that the atmosphere there would help one resolve to write. Even my older brother had regrets after arriving there and felt that he shouldn't have studied logic but instead should have studied business or computers. Even though he still wasn't able to prove it by logical theorems, when he saw the luxurious houses of the rich, he couldn't help but say a few words about his responsibility towards his wife and kids. 有关美国的一切，可以用一句话来描述：“Americans business is business”，这句话的意思就是说，那个国家永远是在经商热中，而且永远是一千度的白热。所以你要是看了前文之后以为那里有某种气氛会有助于人立志写作就错了。连我哥哥到了那里都后悔了，觉得不该学逻辑，应当学商科或者计算机。虽然他依旧未证出的逻辑定理，但是看到有钱人豪华的住房，也免不了唠叨几句他对妻儿的责任。

There is a strong force in America compelling people to make money. Let's say a house: some people have several hundred acres of lawn; some have several thousand. Therefore if one only had a place to live, one could develop the endless urge to make money. Or let's say a car: there are endless categories and prices. If you really had money, you could consider purchasing the car Kennedy was riding when he was assassinated to ride around. There are also people buying former Soviet fighter planes, piloting them around in the air. In that society, those who have no money have to suffer their kids telling their friends: "My dad is poor." If I had children, I would definitely still be there, making money. But writing is not a money-making profession there, either. If you don't believe me, you can go see for yourself in American bookstores. All kinds of books overflow the shelves, as many as the rows of toilet paper stocked at supermarkets. If someone is selling toilet paper, painstakingly written page by page, it can't be a good profession. Beside this, there remain many people whose books have yet to appear on the shelves, still nesting back at home. I don't have children and am not prepared to have any. As a Chinese person, I am a rare phenomenon. However, a person has a face, a tree has a bark. Others are all making money, but I am involved in this dubious business. I really wouldn't have a face to show my kids. 在美国有很强大的力是促使人去挣钱，比方说洋房，有些只有一片小草坪，有的有几百亩草坪，有的有几千亩草坪，所以仅就住房一项，就能产生无穷无尽的挣钱的动力。再比方说汽车，有无穷的档次和价格。你要是真有钱，可以考虑把肯尼边遇刺时坐的汽车买来坐。还有人买下了前苏联的战斗机，驾着飞上天。在那个社会里，没有人受得了自己的孩子对同伴说：我爸爸穷。我要是有孩子，现在也准在那里挣钱。而写书在那里也不是个挣钱的行当，不信你到美国书店里看看，各种各样的书涨了架子，和超级市场里陈列的卫生纸一样多 ——假如有人出售苦心积虑一页页写出的卫生纸，肯定不是好行当。除此之外，还有好多人的书没有上架，窝在他自己的家里。我没有孩子，也不准备要。作为中国人，我是个极少见的现象。但是人有一张脸，树有一张皮，别人都有钱挣，自己却在干可疑的勾当，脸面上也过不去。

When I was in America, I was chatting with a Chinese professor once. He said his daughter was very successful. But she gave up a scholarship to study in a humanities department at Harvard to pay her own way to study at an average law school. He said going against the tide like this was certainly not worthy of a scholar family. In reality, this was giving up a small reward to seek a big one, suffering a small harm to avoid a big one. If you don't believe me, go ask how much money lawyers make and how much humanities scholars make. This professor I chatted with was very learned, very independent-minded. But when talking about his children, he seemed not very independent. 在美国时，有一次和一位华人教授聊天，他说他女儿很有出息，放着哈佛大学人类学系奖学金不要，自费去念一般的大学的lawschool如此反潮流，真不愧是书香门第。其实这是舍小利而趋大利，受小害而避大害。不信你去问问律师挣多少钱，人类学家又挣多少钱。和我聊天的这位教授是个大学问家，特立独行之辈。一谈到了儿女，好像也不大特立独行了。

Having talked about America and the Soviet Union, I should say something about myself. At this point, I have written novels for eight years and have published a few books, but not too many have read them. Beside this, I also often receive jeering rejection letters for my manuscripts. When this happens, I always think benevolently: the person writing the letter must have gotten chewed out by his boss and using me to vent. If you ask people about Wang Xiaobo, I'm sure they will think of the guy who used to pull poles in Sichuan province during the Song dynasty. They won't think of me. I am still in the process of moving against entropy. I'll say this: The existence of humanity, the development of civilization is a anti-entropic process. But that's humanity. When talking about myself specifically, I still can't explain my actions. I'll add another point: I am definitely not the only person in the process of acting against entropy. In America, I met a guy who set up a table on the sidewalk to sell books by Trotsky, Guevara, Chairman Mao, and others. When I spoke to him, he first asked me if I'm afraid of the FBI. There are many other examples. In these people, you will not see the magnificent process of water flowing from high to low, apples falling downwards, wolves eating rabbits. The phenomenon you see is akin to water flowing uphill, apples flying into the sky, rabbits eating wolves. I can also say, following entropy is not enough. For instance, if everyone followed the natural course of sliding downwards, in the end, we will all certainly gather together in a place down below, crowded together like maggots in a septic tank. But this also cannot explain my actions. My actions cannot be explained, if you take the phenomenon of increasing entropy as an immutable principle. 说完了美国、苏联，就该谈谈自己。到现在为止，我写了八年小说，也出了几本书，但是大家没怎么看到。除此之外，我还常收到谩骂性的退稿信，这时我总善意地想：写信的人准是领导那里挨了骂，找我撒气。提起王小波，大家准会想到宋朝的四川拉杆子的那一位，想不起我身上。我还在反熵过程中。顺便说一句，人类的存在，文明的发展就是个反熵过程，但是这是说人类。具体说到自己，我的行为依旧无法解释。再顺便说一句，处于反熵过程中，绝不只是我一个人。在美国，我遇上过支起摊来卖托洛斯基、格瓦拉、毛主席等人的书的家伙，我要和他说话，他先问我怕不怕联帮调查局——别的例子还很多。在这些人身上，你就看不到水往低处流、苹果掉下地，狼把兔子吃掉的宏大的过程，看到的现象，相当于水往山上流，苹果飞上天，兔子吃掉狼。我还可以说，光有熵增现象不成。举例言之，大家都顺着一个自然的方向往下溜，最后准会在个低洼的地方汇齐，挤在一起像粪缸里的蛆。但是这也不能解释我的行为。我的行为是不能解释的，假如你把熵增现象看成金科玉律的话。

Of course, if I am forced to use one straightforward sentence to answer this question, then it would be: I believe I have literary talent; I should do this. But this statement is just as unbelieveable as that made by a suspect who says that he didn't kill anyone. So it's up to you to believe it or not. 当然，如果硬要我用一句话直截了当地回答这个问题，那就是：我相信我自己有文学才能，我应该做这件事。但是这句话正如一个嫌疑犯说自己没杀人一样不可信。所以信不信由你罢。