School
As a kid, I attended an Armenian (yes, Armenian) Catholic school. It was
a small school which grew eventually. Most of my friends there were the
girls. My best friend, Arthur, with whom I shared many interests, was
killed in a car accident after the 8th grade. So I guess I'll never
really find out why he and I were so close in school...
Family My nuclear family consists of Mom, Dad, two older
sisters, and an older brother. All my siblings are in their thirties, so
one can see that growing up, I felt like an only child. Nobody in my
family knows about my sexuality and what I do in San Francisco. They only
hear about the good things. Living at home was bad for me, mainly because
of the personality differences that exist among us. Moving to Northern
California has brought me and members of my family much closer and we are
all happier living apart, even if Mom & Dad don't think so.
"Coming Out Nite" and Beyond I first came out - ever- to
my small group of gay friends in high school. We were at a gay birthday
party in Hollywood and two of the hottest boys wanted to dance with me.
Isn't that cute? So I couldn't resist the temptation. I danced with them
and eventually pursued a very short-term relationship with each of them.
When I came to college, I didn't really tell anyone. That's not to say
that no one suspected, though! I came out slowly to some friends, and I
still have friends who don't know, but I don't put much effort into hiding
it from them. Friends have found out that I'm gay in various ways. One
came to one of my parties and saw another guy hugging and holding me all
night until she finally broke down and asked flat out. The whole thing
was funny, really. Some others were left in the dark until they, too, saw
me holding hands (or what have you) with other guys. Others I've told -
or warned rather! Anyway, coming out is no longer a big deal and
living in San Francisco, I don't see the point in hiding it.
Relationships My first
relationships were when I first came out in my senior year of high school.
In fact, I only came out because it was going to be impossible to kiss a
guy at that party and pretend I was heterosexual! I had two boyfriends in
one week; both heartbreaks, of course. I led a serious relationship with
one boy I met at Berkeley. It lasted a week, I think. Now, we realize
that we would have been better off as friends, which is where we stand
now. No further serious relationships until April of 1996, when I met a
cute boy in the air force. It lasted about seven months. I'll spare
y'alls the details. I don't remember much of them anyway... After that
(and maybe even during that), I've been looking for a new love. Any
offers???
Who's Cute
Val Kilmer, David Duchovny, Ben Affleck, Nick Hexum (the lead
singer of 311), Chris O'Donnell, Harrison Ford, Dan Cortese, Simon
Rex, A.J. Hammer (VJ at VH1), Dennis Rodman, Enrique Iglesias, Dr.
Drew (psychologist at KROQ), a lot of other redheads and
blonds...
Who's Not Cute
George Clooney, Tim Allen, Jon Bon Jovi, Bono (U2)...
Hair...A History As a kid, my perfectionist father always
kept my hair short. He'd spend about three to four hours just trimming
every single hair to the right length. When I got to college, away from
parents, I painted my hair blue as soon as they left me alone in
Berkeley. After a while, I added some red. Then some yellow. Faded to
orange. The black grew out. It was definitely unique. The first time I
went home at the end of the summer, I put black shoe polish in my hair
(because all the stores had closed before I could buy any dye) so that my
parents wouldn't see my real hair. Of course, they noticed the shoe
polish. I didn't shower for three days. Eventually, I showered and they
saw the orange underneath it. They learned to live with it, after
screaming at me for a while. Anyway, eventually, my hair started growing
long and the roots did too. I had to dye it black. I let it grow out
for about a year or so (long enough that I once had dookie braids) before
it went back to crew-cut short, and that's where it's been since.
Clothes Many of you may
already think that I'm a "fashion queen," but I assure you I'm not! I try
hard to blend well with a crowd, but stand out as well-dressed.
Capisce??? My interest in fashion is rooted in haute-couture designers,
their histories, and their designs. My closet may include a number of
labels, but they're mostly subtle numbers I use for various occasions.
To see my favorite designers, I'm sure you've already checked out my Favorite Designers list.
Favorite Designers
Gym & Body The first time I ever went to a gym was my
freshman year in college: the campus Recreational Sports Facility. At
the time, I was mostly engaged in aerobic exercise. When I moved to San
Francisco, I joinedMarket Street Gym, one of the gay gyms in the
Castro. Now, I just use the gym at hotels when I'm on business travel.
My primary areas of focus include my chest, arms, and legs. Lately,
however, I've been concerned about gaining too much mass and have ben
focusing on the treadmill for about 15-20 minutes, and then doing some
limited muscle training afterward.
Funny Things I Can Do With My Body I can move my
earlobes. I can move my pecs. I can crack my ankle and make a funny
noise. And funnest of all, I can move my pecs up and down.
Attitude I can't stand the stuff. My friends know me as
friendly, amiable, and approachable (I AM a psychologist, after all!).
Many people tell me that my pictures portray me as
having a lot of attitude, but I was just trying to make sure those photos
didn't look like cheesy tourist photos, so I took a unique approach to
them (unique in comparison to other photos of myself). So, don't fear
me, but write me!!!
Clubbing The first club I
attended was the Arena in Los Angeles. At the time, it was a gay
club some straight friends took me to. Now, it's a different place. That
was when I was 17, and my attendance at clubs and bars has only increased
since. I used my brother's old driver's license at the time and that
worked fine for me until I turned 21 this year (even though the ID said I
was ten years older!). The clubs I frequent the most are Club
Universe on Saturday nights, which is a long running and very, very
popular San Francisco dance hall open after hours and filled with big
buffed boyz and the Endup on Friday nights or Sunday mornings. I
used to go to The Cafe (Cafe San Marcos) a lot, which was once a
lesbian bar in the heart of gay San Francisco, but is now an extremely
popular mixed bar. Sometimes>, I can be seen at some of the less-hyped
bars around the Castro (THE gay part of San Francisco), including the
Phoenix (dancing), the Midnight Sun (a video bar),
Badlands (a big dark bar), Detour; (a darker bar), and
Harvey's (the newest bar in the Castro, relaxed and very friendly).
However, I go to these bars only occasionally and never alone! Two other
spots I highly recommend are JR's in
Walnut Creek and the Alta Plaza.
Music My earliest
influences of music come from my older sister, who would listen to early
80s music, before there was a division among pop, rock, rap, house, etc.
Madonna was my favorite artist in the world until she started gaining
excessive fame around 1989 and 1990. Then, I switched to a different type
of music which was definitely not too popular at the time: alternative.
My favorite band in the world came to be Depeche Mode, whose every single
career move I followed for years and years, and still do, but not as
religiously. In the past couple of years, I have opened up my tastes and
now listen to a variety of music, including some world/ethnic, rap, house,
pop, rock, alternative, and especially "dance" (a term I use to define any
type of music to which I can dance) and soul. I enjoy dance music simply
because I'm surrounded by it so much at the clubs and it's got such great
energy. Lately, however, I've been REALLY getting into classic soul, like
the Isley Brothers, Rose Royce, Billy Paul, etc. Just great "chill"
music. Lastly, I don't mind country, jazz, tango, and some other forms of
music which I don't normally listen to unless there's nothing else to
hear. I'm not particularly fond of Mariachi music (unless I'm in Mexico)
and will try hard to leave any situation which forces me to listen to it.
For a list of my current favorite bands, check out my list of Favorite
Artists (below)
Favorite
Artists
Favorite TV Shows I don't watch
much TV, and I'm not really sure why the hell I'm throwing it in here, but
here's a very short list of my fave TV shows:
Employment Before college, I
held a variety of odd jobs around Los Angeles. When I came to college, I
found a job I loved at one of the campus departments. In the beginning, I
held mostly clerical duties. After a couple of months, I was moved to the
accounting and bookkeeping unit, where I became an assistant accountant
and financial analyst for over three years. After I obtained my degree, I
got a job as an accountant at one of the biggest investment banking firms
in the country. Now, I'm an Applications Consultant and spend much time
travelling across the country and across the world. I'm not yet sure if I
want to invest a career in technology or investment banking but at least
now I have the experience of both behind me.
So where are the new promised
photos? These photos are actually new, October 1997. All the
color photos toward the end are old, from October 1995. Not much has
changed since. My hair is still short. It's got that shaved look. This
is as risquee as it gets for now. When I find that I'm actually
photogenic when nude, I may post those pictures too :) So, in the
meantime, sit back, chill, and enjoy my Gallery of the
Self and don't forget to send emale to dsafaria@ocf.berkeley.edu.