CT I


 
(Stage set: rear projection of a sinister-looking, reddish sky. Stage lighting is low, casting deep shadows from the set - which consists of symmetrical rows of rounded stalagmite / stalactite pairings that closely resemble teeth. A large and unidentifiable carcass occupies the centre of the stage, surrounded by 4 identical-looking wasps.)
1st WASP: Is it dead?

2nd WASP: Looks that way to me...

3rd WASP: (Steps forward to nudge the carcass with its foot. The carcass offers no response)

4th WASP: It's dead all right. Look at the way its legs stick out so stiffly, like candles on a birthday cake.
(All are silent for a short while)
1st WASP: What is it, exactly?

4th WASP: Beats me. Looks more like a part of something, rather than a whole animal. But, then again, it's got all of its limbs - and I don't see any wounds on it anywhere.

2nd WASP: Maybe it's a mutation, like those 3-legged frogs I heard about on the news.

3rd WASP: (Nods slowly in agreement while wagging his finger at the carcass)
(All are silent for another short interval)
1st WASP: Should we eat it?

4th WASP: Sure, why not?

2nd WASP: It still smells OK.

3rd WASP: (Rubs his stomach emphatically, then steps forward and begins to nibble on the side of the carcass nearest to him. The other 3 soon join in. Unnoticed at first by all, the carcass begins to swell up at a considerable rate as they eat)

4th WASP: (Looking up from his meal and becoming aware of the swelling. He shouts in alarm) Hells bells in a hand basket! Get out of here quick -- it's a trap!
(There is a bright flash and a simultaneous deafening (and wet-sounding) explosion, after which the stage goes entirely black)

ACT II


 
(Stage set: A spacious kitchen with sparse furnishings. A man and a woman, both naked, sit around a small wooden table set with food. In the centre of the table is a platter with a small, unidentifiable carcass placed upon it. Both man and woman are regarding it carefully: him with interest, her with distaste.)
MAN: Well, I suppose it must be dead by now.
(A pause)
WOMAN: (Disgusted) What is it, exactly?

MAN: Beats me. Looks kind of like part of something - only its still got all four legs. It doesn't look like anything else has been cut off, either.

WOMAN: (Makes a disgusted noise and looks away)
(Another pause)
MAN: Well, should we eat it?

WOMAN: Are you kidding me? Of course not! I wouldn't so much as touch it! Who knows where it's been - you should have just left it alone in the first place. (Turns away in disgust once again)
(The man sits, regarding the carcass and the woman back and forth in turn several times; then, abruptly, he pops the entire carcass into his mouth. The woman is greatly startled by this action, and becomes even more startled when the man leaps up and begins screaming through his closed mouth. There is a muted explosion and his head jerks back in pain. He spits four dead wasps out onto the table and howls in agony. Foam pours out of his mouth as he stumbles about the kitchen, losing his grasp on reason. After a while he grows quiet, groping blindly and grunting occasionally like an animal. He then takes notice of the woman as if for the first time, develops an erection, and leaps across the table at her with a savage growl. She frantically pushes him away, knocking him onto the floor, then grabs a carving knife from the table and emasculates him with it. The offending member and the knife are both thrown upon the floor in revulsion, after which the woman escapes out through the window above the sink while the man lies frozen in shock. Lighting fades to black.)

ACT III


 
(Stage set: enlarged view of a section of the kitchen floor in the previous scene. A magnified pattern from the linoleum is visible; as well as a thick wooden pillar with a metal base, representing one of the table legs. In the centre of the stage lies a giant replica of the man's severed genitals, surrounded by a pool of blood. Standing in a circle around this object are seven gnats, varying in size but otherwise identical to one another.)
1st GNAT: (After a considerable silence) Is it dead?

2nd GNAT: Looks that way to me...

3rd GNAT: (Steps forward nudge the penis with its foot. There is, of course, no response from the penis)

4th GNAT: It's dead all right. Look at all that blood - I wouldn't expect that much blood to be in something twice its size.
(All are silent for a short while)
1st GNAT: What is it, exactly?

5th GNAT: Beats me. Looks more like a part of something, rather than a whole animal.

6th GNAT: I've seen one of those before - it tried to crawl into the knothole of an oak tree where I was trying to make a nest. It kept leaving and then coming back again right away, like it couldn't make up its mind... Finally I jabbed a pine needle into its eye - or mouth, or whatever that thing is. It took off faster than I've even seen anything fly before or since.

7th GNAT: It flies? Where are its wings?

6th GNAT: Don't ask me - I'm only telling you what I saw. Maybe it flaps that flabby sac around. I've certainly seen stranger forms of locomotion.
(The other gnats nod, and silently contemplate the object a little more)
1st GNAT: Should we eat it?

4th GNAT: Are you kidding me? Who knows where it's been?

5th GNAT: I wouldn't so much as touch it, myself. It doesn't look at all wholesome, does it?
(The other gnats nod in agreement once again, then one by one fly off by means of wire harnesses. The lighting slowly fades to black as they depart)

END.

M8a(5)

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