Shock jock Stern missed out on a great guest

   By Brian Anderson
   Special for the Republic
   May 14, 1998
   
   I don't know if Howard Stern is a baseball fan, but I'm a fan of his
   radio show.
   
   During our road trip to New York last week, I figured maybe I would
   have a chance to go on his show, or at least meet him. I figured since
   Minnesota Twins pitcher Brad Radke and catcher Greg Myers went on
   there last year, that I certainly would have a good chance. I played
   with Greg (with the Angels), and believe me, he doesn't have the kind
   of personality I do that would fit in with Howard and maybe match wits
   with him.
   
   When we got to New York, Mike Swanson, our media relations director,
   got in touch with Howard's producer, BaBa Booey. We thought Tuesday
   was a possibility or maybe Wednesday, but they called back and
   basically said, "no go,' because there were too many guests.
   
   That was a nice way of saying, "We have no idea who you are."
   
   I guess it will take a freak of nature for me to get on now. It's a
   crying shame. They're missing out on some great radio.
   
   I've been on three or four times with Jim Rome and I'm on his
   all-Jungle team. He even told me that if I was out of baseball in a
   year and was tending bar in Cleveland, in the Flats or something, that
   I could still come on.
   
   Howard probably had nothing to do with it. I hope the door is still
   open when we go back there the next time. Jackie Martlins, his head
   joke writer, is supposed to be coming to a comedy club here in town
   this weekend and maybe he will see this.
   
   The show is interesting, even though Howard gets into some things I
   might not agree with.
   
   But he also says a lot of things we all think but don't have the guts
   to say. He speaks his mind. He doesn't tell you what you want to hear.
   
   I guess the only way I'll ever get on is if I pitch a no-hitter
   wearing only my jockstrap - if that's allowed in baseball rules.
   subQuip of the week I think I'd like to start a quip of the week from
   the demented mind of our clubhouse man extraordinaire, Chris Guth.
   
   "If a pathological liar comes up to you and tells you he's a liar, do
   you believe it?"
   
   I'll leave that one for you to ponder until next week.
   
   Diamondbacks left-hander Brian Anderson will share his comments each
   week in Baseball Extra.