Shelley's Page of Stuff

Okay, okay, I'll think of something neat to put here soon. Here's something written by a friend about the nature of the Internet and his tarot reading for the new Millennium.

Favorite Vegas Joke: A bigshot is trying to discreetly leave a casino after a nice run at the tables when a man walks up to him. He's crying and dressed in a thin worn t-shirt and pants would make a blind man cover his eyes.

"Please sir," the man rasps out. "I saw you had some good luck back there, and well, my wife and I were on our honeymoon when she fell ill. She needs an operation and I've sold everything and drained our savings, but I'm still $500 short. Can you help me out? I'll pay back every penny."

The bigshot has a soft heart for the sob story, but this town can make you leery so he asks "Okay, I guess I can give you a loan, but how do I know you won't gamble it away?"

The man brightens, "Oh, gambling money I've got!"

Based on a David Letterman joke

The Mermaid Chanty

When I come up from round the Horn
I found a gal what makes me beam
She'd hold me in her supple flippers
Darlin' lady of my dreams!

Manatee, sweet manatee
How your mustache bristles tickle me
In places no one ever sees
My soft and lovin' manatee!

I found her bobbin' in the surf
Her briny smile enchanted me
We hauled her up and gave her lovin'
A buoyant lass you would agree!

Manatee, sweet manatee
My buxom bovine from the sea
Oh won't you come and marry me
My warm and flaccid manatee!

In ages of old, we had no web pages. But we did have .plan files. They were a bit of creativity in the early days when using the "finger" command was all you could do. Mostly made up of pithy sayings, quotes from movies, books, and music, and sometimes a wee bit of philosophy, you could stand out as an individual by putting some of your hopes, dreams, and yourself in a .plan file.

Here's my current .plan.

Here's an older .plan.

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slouie@csua.berkeley.edu